Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Let’s face it, dealing with debilitating illness is hard and there’s not a lot of solutions out there.  Whatever you have and whatever path you take to deal with it, you’re still left with a lot of confusing decisions, pain, weakness and social misunderstanding.  Those who understand us best tell us we’re strong, and our own social groups tell us we’re survivors, but when do we actually feel like that?  

Well I’m here to tell you that you really are a Superhero – you just have to remember what your secret power is.  All of us are superheros, actually, I just like to focus on those of us who need to feel it more.  🙂  Painkillers don’t always work.  Sleep isn’t always restful.  Friends aren’t always there, but your Superhero power will always make you feel better.  Are you ready for it?

Here it is:

It’s the Power We Have as Strangers.

It’s a strange thing to consider, but we really are more powerful with strangers than with those we are close to.  Consider for a moment how you feel when a sibling or friend compliments your new hairstyle, or tells you they’re sure you’re good at your job.  It’s nice to hear, but you’re fully aware that they knew you were nervous about the hair and would always tell you that you’re good at your job.

Now consider how you feel when a total stranger approaches you for no apparent reason…then compliments your hair.  Suddenly you feel appreciated, attractive and you’re having a great day.  Wow!  Later, when a co-worker tells you how well you’re doing your job you begin to glow and shine with confidence.  More than likely you begin to do your job even better.

Why the difference?  Like so much of life, a lot of it has to do with expectations.  We expect family and friends to like us, to appreciate us and to believe in our capabilities.  On the other hand, we expect strangers to be indifferent, selfish, and too busy to be concerned with our needs.  It’s the difference between truth and expectation that matters most. 

I was told once that it’s not how high you get that counts, it’s how far you bounce after hitting bottom.  It’s much the same with strangers and family.  We already hold family and friends in high esteem so when they compliment us, it’s not so great a change.  When an unknown stranger compliments us, even when the compliment is less – the effect is always greater.

In the end, it turns out that while we should always stay devoted to our close ones, and remember to never take them for granted; we should be even more vigilant in using our power as strangers.  Tiny compliments scattered about us as we go throughout our day could very well have an exponential effect on the world around us.  Jobs will be created, taxes will be eliminated and the entire world will come to peace!

Okay, okay, so that’s taking it overboard, but consider again the power of that one small compliment from a stranger about your hair.  Multiply that by as many people as there are on the planet and that’s just one moment’s happiness spread.  Since we know that happy people lead healthier lives, have better jobs, raise happier children, and so on – the implications are, after all, truly phenomenal. 

So take a chance, and give a stranger a compliment.  After all, the cost/reward ratio is one of the best there is, since there’s hardly any cost at all.  Even the most socially inept can memorize a few compliments and since they’re going to total strangers, no one will know how generic they really are and the effect remains as powerful.  The more creative may even manage to do more than lighten someone’s load for a day and may spark something within them that changes their life forever.

It’s true…I often find myself reminiscing about compliments from strangers in the past.  Their sincerity struck me far more than their words and lingers with me still.  Now, decades later I still feel their words and feelings inspire and uplift me.  Talk about a solid return on your investment!

Remember, we’re all on this Earth together and unlike previous ages, there is no limit to how good we can make our lives.  While our ancestors lived in a world with finite resources, lending itself more to a society of greed in order to survive; we live in a world increasingly being open by science and discovery.  In the end, it could very well be our cumulative attitude that transforms our planet for the better or worse.  With the advent of the internet – you’re capable of complementing total strangers around the globe.  What a power!

So give a compliment and spread the word.  What have you got to loose?  Better yet, how much could we all gain?  Times are not easy for anyone right now but with a few simple words we can begin to lighten the load of those around us, increasing the chance that they’ll lighten ours right back…so much happiness from a few simple words.  In this economy, it might be the best investment you ever make. 

Happy Healing!